Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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