She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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