if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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