Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
