Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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