did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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