I murdered the dance floor call the cops
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
