i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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