I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
