She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
