so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Still dying that you shit outside
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
