I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
