The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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