so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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