Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
