so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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