Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
