Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize