she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
