dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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