I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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