sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Randomize
