I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
