trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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