And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
