I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
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