You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
