i need an iv and a liver transplant
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
