once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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