so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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