I just threw up on my dentist
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize