My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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