They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
