no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
just found out that she named her cat after me.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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