Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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