Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
