Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
