Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I think my vagina is haunted
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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