Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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