im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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