Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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