My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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