worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
