what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
