I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
