You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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