The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
