that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
