i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
