I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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