all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
