Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
