I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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