I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
