Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I need to align my fucking chakras
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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