Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
