once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He felt like a one man threesome
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
