He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
