we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
