Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
