You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
