I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i used baking grease as lip gloss
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
