I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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