we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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