We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
