well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
