he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
