i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
