I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
